I had the distinct pleasure of speaking to a group of magicians here in London last evening. What a terrific group and so welcoming. It was fabulous to be able to share tips and techniques for speaking in front of an audience, learn how to remember the words we want to say and hear of their experiences. Please check out their website if you’re interested in magic http://magiclondon.brinkster.net/index.html

It’s been a while since I blogged hasn’t it? Sometimes life gets in the way of your life. Know what I mean? Every so often we find ourselves so totally immersed in the day-to-day living that we lose sight of the extraneous. It’s almost as if we forget to breathe. I’m still trying to decide if I love times like that or begrudge them.

In a way it’s fabulous to be so busy, rushing from one place to the next, every minute seemingly filled with oh so important places to go and people to see. In another way it’s all so incredibly intrusive. Intrusive on my reflective time, intrusive on my creating time…just intrusive.

After a while though there comes  a pause in the action and a window opens up and the fresh breeze blows through. You inhale as large a breath of the air as you possibly can and let the calmness flow over your thoughts.

One of those windows opened for me today. It feels good to let the calmness in again.

A few weeks ago I was heading to an out-of-town meeting with a colleague. During the drive we got onto the subject of spouses, family etc. When it came my turn to share I mentioned the fact my husband and I had, in recent months, started the reconciliation process after having been separated for 13 years. My colleague was astounded at my situation and mentioned he didn’t think he had ever heard of such a thing happening after so long and marvelled at the fact my husband and I would even be willing to entertain the notion.

I met up with this same colleague last night and he mentioned he had thought frequently over the past month about our conversation. He was still astounded over my situation and offered all good wishes for things to go well. He also mentioned that in thinking about my situation, he was looking at his marriage and realizing there was a definite feeling of change for the better within his household yet he wasn’t quite sure he could put his finger on what the change was.

I offered this…….ever since I turned 50, it’s as if weights/worries/stress has been steadily rolling off my shoulders. Like walking through a door into a new time in my life. It started with a realization I didn’t want to spend my ‘second half’ in the same state of angst as I spent much of my first half. I’ve learned to let my children be the adults I helped them be. I’ve learned that it enriches my life to have people of different personalities, backgrounds and outlooks on life as friends and companions. It’s perfectly okay that someone else does my laundry and folds the towels differently then me…the laundry’s done…yipee!! I feel so much more relaxed and happy which has, of course, allowed me to open my heart and mind more to all the possibilities around me.

Mostly I’ve learned that Freedom 55 isn’t about financial freedom. For me, it’s about the freedom that comes from realizing I’m finally the person I looked up to all those years ago.

I wrote an online article today about being 50….haha…fooled you didn’t I..lol. 

Anyway…after I finished the article I couldn’t stop thinking about what exactly my life is like in my 50′s. The conclusion I’ve come to is it’s absolutely fabulous (and for those who know me well, “fabulous” is familiar).. Seriously, so much that I worried about, feared or was anxious over seemed to melt away as I walked through the door of 50. I’ve become more comfortable with myself, both in mind and in body. I don’t worry so much about the bad hair days anymore and don’t really care that I can’t remember my original hair colour. The lines on my face have been well-earned and I’m lucky I inherited my mother’s great skin tone.

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Words are important instruments in all our daily lives. For the most part it’s how we go about letting those around us know how we are feeling, what we are doing, where we are going, what we need from them. They are one of most vital communication tools. It’s our choice whether we finely tune the words we use every day and mold them into what we truly want to say. We do have the option of just throwing them out there without thought and in a haphazard way, hoping they somehow will magically rearrange themselves once they leave our mouth before they reach another’s ears. I suppose it depends on how we want those words perceived or interpreted. Words can be a speaker’s best friend and an angry person’s worst enemy. Continue reading →

Words motivate, they comfort, they can inspire…we can find sayings to guide us through virtually every situation and every day of the year. Each of us has favourite sayings that we hug to ourselves as our talisman perhaps, our creed, motto or a simple affirmation that starts off our day. I have a saying I repeat to myself each morning. It’s one I thought of years ago and it goes like this….”You make the day, the day doesn’t make you.” Another of my favourites come to us from Helen Keller “Life is a daring adventure or nothing at all”. How often do we look at our lives as a daring adventure? It really is you know.

Six simple words of condolence “I’m sorry for your loss” can bring solace to a grieving friend. They can ease a deep hurt if only for a few minutes. Small words so easily said, so gratefully accepted and so long remembered. What a powerful tool. Saying “I’m sorry” when you’ve inflicted harm intentional or otherwise is never wrong and can seem so right to the recipient. Offering a sincere “I’m here for you” starts the healing process for most anyone.

 We use words to express our hopes and dreams. Sometimes those words are only used to ourselves or to a close loved one.  My sons have expressed their hopes and dreams to me over the years and I’ve rejoiced in every one of them. From the 2yr old “wanna be a worker man mom” to 17 yr old “I’m gonna be a rock star” they’ve let me know where their heads are at, they’ve given me clues on how to relate to them and above all have brought a smile to my face then and now. My children have given me wonderful words over the years that gave me a pick me up at the time and never fail to bring a smile to my face when I remember them now. Who wouldn’t smile at being asked “Hey Mom..if God is Jesus’ father, who is his grandfather?” Words are worth gold!

A single word or a set of words making up a phrase can instantly transport us back in time. For instance, the word hippie , for me,  brings to mind an entire generation with all its wonder and angst. When I hear the word hippie I see girls in peasant blouses, and long skirts, with beads in their hair and little flowers painted on their cheeks. I see young men with guitars slung on their backs, and sandals on their feet. I also hear news anchors reporting on body counts in Vietnam. Pretty powerful images for a single word.

Hearing a very tinny sounding Neil Armstrong stating “That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind” immediately puts me back in the living room of my childhood home watching the first man step foot on the moon. I remember the summer night and feeling resentful because my parents insisted we stop playing outside to come in and watch history being made. Resentful then, abundantly thankful now. What do you remember from a single word?

Words are not only the heart and soul of a book, they are how we communicate…”Hey how ya doing?”  “Where’s the library?” “How do you get to the office?” Words are how we educate. What would a teacher be without his/her words? People use words to pontificate, “Four score and seven years ago….” they use words to instruct “ you’re going to take that hoojet and then take the dohickie and connect to the whatsit and there you have it!”…..Did you get all that?

Whether words are shouted out loud from rooftops in joy or pain, whether they are whispered tenderly in a loved one’s ear, rasped as last words, sung in a song or spoken with a soft southern drawl…. they do incredible things. Words deliver love, praise and happiness, they convey compassion and sorrow, sadly they also express hate and anger.

Words can quickly conjure up memories. How many of us remember words our parents said to us from our childhood? I remember clearly my father saying to me while chastising me for using foul language “An intelligent person can find a better way to say it” (smart man my dad). There truly are thousands of ways to say the same thing without resorting to foul, offensive language. I’ve found more often than not over the years the words I’ve used instead of those foul ones have garnered me better results in virtually all situations. A heartfelt “Holy Moly” is way less offensive than “Holy Sh*t”. “Criminy Chickets” diffused more situations than “WTF”. Try it yourself. It takes a bit of practice but oh my it’s worth it to see the expressions on people’s faces when they hear the unexpected…..